scab 9

Fashion

How do I start? Well, I think I’ll start now, HA HA, with a breakdown of the word fashion and what it means. The word originated from the French word ‘Le Fashion’, which as everyone knows means “to overtake on the outside lane”. From this comes the word ‘Lama’, - to fry. Incidently, Lama is latin for Le Fashion. So now at least now we know where the word comes from. If your still not sure, we’ll look at it in another way: FA-SH-ION. Yet another breakdown. By now your probably thinking “what does this turkey know about fashion”, well, not a lot actually. But ask yourself this, what do you know about fashion. Probably not a lot either. So before you start criticising me just think, “at least he’s been honest with me”. Anyway, here goes – “fashion for the last three quarter bits of 1982”. I predict that small pieces of elastoplast will still be worn on the legs of national health glasses. Shoelaces still tied neatly in little blows and Adam Ant jackets (available from the “book centre”) will also feature greatly on the scene. Fashion will hits its peak in mid summer where polar snorkel parkers will be evident – deodorant sales are predicted to rocket incidently. Autum will see the return of long black trench coats and trendy sports jackets, casual wear will take the form of ‘sloppy joe’ cardigans with little feathers in. get those white socks outa the old sock drawer cos you aint gonna look cool without em. And remember “Dirk wears white socks”. For the extremists as follows: punks:- studded foreheads, filth eye makeup. Skins:- “Mork” braces, denim shorts, thigh length Martins. New Romantics:- if you’re a new romantic its your own fault so don’t come crying to me with your sexual problems, creep. Teds:- ankle length drapes, lard on hair, and dayglo fawn socks. Well if you thought that was a pile of crap just stuffed in to fill up a page you’d be right. If by any stretch of the imagination you tittered or smirked whilst reading this I suggest medical attention at once.